Tuesday, 27 July 2010
blAck Eye pERcePtioNS!
I recently had a black eye, that if I do say so myself, was very 'cool'. Though unfortunately the story behind how I landed a black eye is slightly on the lame side of plastic shark and strings makes jaws!
Not by being a hero, not battling through the Antarctic or rough jungles of the Amazon, but by 'fake fighting'. - Aye that crazy world of stage combat.
I loved having my first black eye, I felt powerful like I was invincible etc. But what I noticed from seeing and observing other peoples reactions that saw my eye, began to make me feel self conscious. I felt judged, like I was a thug, and automatically other people placed a preconceived view on me, that I was trouble, and better still, that I deserved the black eye.
Through this experience my perception of myself and the black eye changed. I was no longer adopting a posture of 'I'm hard...look how cool I am'. But made to feel withdrawn and a recluse, and even ashamed of myself. Now this may be going to some extremes, but it was interesting to see this perception I and other people had and how it changed.
I questioned to myself; If I dressed more femininely in a dress and heels, or I was a heavily pregnant, or a sharp business suit, then would the perception and other peoples attitudes be different?
Or wearing ripped jeans, a band t-shirt, a lip piercing with a black eye place me in a category that is preconceived without knowing?